Recipe!

Here are some recipes that I love and are SUPER easy to make:

Carrot Ginger Soup

6 carrots, chopped
1 onion, chopped
1 small piece of ginger, peeled & grated
1 container of chicken or vegetable broth (container = a box, not a can)
a little bit of olive oil

Cook onions in oil until they're tender, all carrots, broth, and ginger and boil until carrots are soft. Transfer everything to a blender and blender that shit up. Ta-da. Done.

*It's a lot easiler to peel ginger if you put it in the freezer a little while before preparing your soupies, then you can just peel it with a spoon.

Updates to the list

6. Own a home

It looks like this goal might not be so far away as I once thought. I completely paid off my credit card, so that's one obstacle out of the way. If I'm able to get a new job around May/April of next year... even another minimum wage one, we should have no problem getting things rolling.

11. Grow some useful plants from seeds

Kind of missed the boat on this one. I had planned on doing it during the summer time, but I was just too busy and I plum forgot about it. Oh well. Maybe next summer.

12. Be more assertive for the things I want

I think I'm getting better that this, although I still need more practice.

13. Connect more with friends

Been doing well on this one. Since I left my job, I now have weekends off to spend with friends. Also, hanging out more with Kagar so I have a zombie killing buddy.

16. Keep a diary

Diaries are stupid. Instead, I've made myself a schedule. I know it's not the same thing, but it's just one more thing I'm doing to try to get some more control over my life. I'm so forgetful and I lose track of time, especially with school work. So now, my schedule keeps me on track... sort of...

19. Donate to charity

Contrary to my list, I actually stopped giving to the several charities I was a part of. Mainly because I'm jobless now, but also because I doubt my contribution makes a difference.
On a side note, though... In a week or so I'll be doing some volunteering for one of my classes... kind of makes up for it, I suppose.

20. Art stuffs

Haven't really been doing a lot of this lately.

21. Exercise

Hah!

23. Get new summer clothes

It's fall now, stupid! But I have bought a few new things. Got a new sweater. It's snuggly. I like fall clothes better than summer clothes anyways.

24. Get a better night's sleep

I think this is going well. To be honest, I don't remember why I wrote that one in my list. I don't think my sleep has been terrible. Certainly not enough to put it on a list...

25. Finish school, finally...

7 months to go...

Bologna Flavored Cuppy-Cakes

It's been a long time since I last wrote here... Like, 3 months + 1 day... >.>
I've been very busy with school and stuff...

But good news?! Yes!
I'm very, very, very happy now. No more depressed Jeska. No more blogging about how terrible things are. I feel like a different person and I think it's caused by a number of things.

First off, a few months back after a talk with my friend (see June 30th post), I feel like I have a new perspective on life and how I live in it. I felt like everything was out of reach, but now I feel more in charge of my own destiny. Nothing is out of my reach if I bother to get up and work for it. So, yeah... I'm feeling better about that.

Second, I quit my job and this move has made me SOOOOO happy. You have no idea... An enormous weight was taken off my shoulders once I left and I feel so good. I don't come home angry and tired, and now I actually have time on weekends to study or do things whereas before, I obviously didn't. I don't have to get up at 6am on a weekend and I don't have to be the lightning rod in the department, whom everyone goes to to complain. I was tired of wearing that hat. No thank you. You can handle these things from now on. Good day.

Third, I got married last weekend (Sept 24). Yup. And things are going very well. He doesn't bother me nearly as much as he used to. He still bugs me a little, but I think that's just natural for guys, I guess.

Everything seems to be coming up Jeska! I'm feeling fatter than usual, but I really don't care! I like who I am. Got a new laptop, too. It kind of sucks, but at least since it's new, I don't have to worry that it will turn off one day and wont turn back on (like my last one). Hubby and I are also getting things together so we can start planning for our future, namely getting a house and maybe a car. We're hoping to get a house by this time next year if everything goes well.

I need more followers... but I don't know how to get them xD

REVELATION!

My mind is clear! Everything that seems to make me unhappy, I suddenly understand. I used to think that I, and humans as a race, are inherently unhappy. No. We're not unhappy, we are inherently afraid. I am afraid.

All of these things that I say I want to do, but am depressed because I don't think I can/will do them... I like to blame Chris, and I like to blame lack of money, and I like to blame limited time. If I really, truly wanted something, I could get it but I'm afraid. I'm afraid of the costs and of things I don't know. I am in charge of my own destiny. If I was willing, I could shake the system to its core and make something of myself. I could live like no one else. But, am I willing to risk everything I have? Am I willing to put myself out there, to see and do things that I would have never imagined? How terrifying...

I can't ignore the fact that money IS a major issue. After all, even if I manage to conquer my fears and become this awesome person, I may never be able to BE this awesome person that I imagine. But I've been thinking... Why not just break from my suffocating mould? I must thank my very wise friend, Lazarus, for talking to me and helping me figure this out. Before I only felt like I was unhappy and I felt like despite working on this list, that there was nothing I could do about it. But now I really do believe that it's about fear more than it is about unhappiness and fear I believe I can overcome. With unhappiness, you can do this and that and still be unhappy. But with a fear, you just have to muster the courage to push yourself into something unknown, and once you're there, well... what's left to be afraid of?

In addition, I've been thinking of a way that I could see the world. I thank Lazarus again for bringing this to my attention, but some organizations pay for people to come help build stuff in poor countries. Maybe I could do that. After all, I don't want to see the tourist attractions of the world. I want to see the real cultures and traditions of small villages, not the westernized resorts that show only enough tradition and culture of the region, mixed with western ideals, so we don't get too frightened and home-sick. I'm going to look into that and perhaps, after I get my degree, that's what I'll do and maybe that will give me some fulfillment.

You crazy hippy, you!

22. Get a haircut

Yups. I've been making slow progress on my list. Yesterday, I got a haircut. I never had hippy hair or anything close to it, but it feels nice to purdy yerself up. I'd post pictures, but it's a gigantic pain in the ass to get pictures from my phone online and my regular camera takes such enormous pictures that I would have to reformat each one of them individually just so they would fit on the screen. Again, pain in the ass.

The spring semester is almost over! But only a few days later, the summer semester begins. In the days between, I'm going to go out and find some small pots or planters and finally get around to planting some stuff. I'll have to do some research on what kind of plants I can grow at this time of year. I don't want to start, only to have them die in a few weeks.

Ugh. For some random reason I started thinking about shrimp. Yuck... Like eating a sea-bug... Same with Crabs or, as they should be known, sea-spiders, and Lobsters a.k.a. sea-earwigs!

Prior to the blog, this is what I've been doing

1. Make a happy list - Making the list, just by itself, was helpful. It really opened up my imagination to all the things I would like to do, and it also made me think about those aspects of life and myself that I need to change.

10. Introduce more culture into my life - I've already started doing this, but since going out is expensive, I haven't done as much as I would like. Last month, a friend and I went to see the ballet performance of "Wonderland". It was pretty neat, and my first ballet. I would definitely like to see another. For a while, a group of us have been planning a trip to the museum, but circumstances have always forced us to cancel. The good thing about museums is that most of them have a "free day". Ours is Thursday, after 5pm. Eventually, I'd like to see Cirque Du Soleil and I'm suuuuper excited! Whilst writing this, out of curiosity I went to the cirque du soleil website and discovered that they will be in Ottawa next month. I'm soooo going! Yippee!

19. Donate to Charity - I've been donating to World Vision for... a long time now. Well over a year, but I don't remember exactly how long. I sponsor a girl in Honduras named Litzy. My feelings towards this are 50/50... I very much enjoy the feeling I get from helping people, but at the same time, I'm cautious as too how much I'm actually helping Litzy and her community, or World Vision. Truthfully, I would like to sponsor more if I had the money. I probably will some day. I used to donate to Red Cross, but after I lost my credit card I never got around to changing my info with Red Cross. I tried to change it online, and then over the phone but apparently the only way to change credit card info is to go to their office, which is out of the way and I never got around to it. I'd still be donating, if they made it easier to contact them. I also donate whenever there is a run for cancer in my city. A guy at my work does it every year, and raised (amazingly) over $3000 this year! I don't do the run, though I'd like to, but at least I put in my part to help him raise money.

20. Art stuffs - I've been trying to get back into art for a while now. After being denied by the arts program at my university, I had to put that stuff I enjoy on the back burner whilst I focused my attention on other things. But I regret letting that skill slip away from me. Even if I couldn't use it as a profession, I can still use it as a hobby. So after years of doing nothing with my skills, I've picked it up again. I've done a few drawings, but what I really enjoy is clay modelling. I'm no expert, but it's a very calming activity (and your hands are nice and smooth afterwards). So far I've made a miniature elephant, a cat, an octopus, and some kind of wiggly bowl. I'm probably going to give them to people after I finish painting the.

21. Exercise - I've been trying to become more active, even before I started this blog. I'm trying to go for more walks, which are nice because it's beautiful outside. I've also been doing little exercises at home. I hate staying inside all day, but unfortunately, I have to read for my classes. And I hate sitting for so long. So instead of using my breaks to play games online, I think I'm going to exercise instead. That way, I'll take shorter breaks, and also be more active. It will probably help with my studying too to give my mind a burst of energy (games or chatting don't really do that for me)...

Step 1: Making a List

This is a list of all the things I can think of that may, or already, make me happy.

1. Make a happy list (check)
2. Take a Vacation
3. Go rock climbing
4. Move back to BC
5. Spend a weekend in the wilderness, taking photos and painting
6. Own a home (I don't expect this for a while)
7. Manage an animal rescue shelter, specifically for abused/neglected exotic pets
8. Go snorkelling
9. Attend a class, like yoga or meditation to learn how to relax
10. Introduce more culture into my life, by going to the theatre, ballet, etc.
11. Grow some useful plants from seeds
12. Be more assertive for the things I want
13. Learn how to say no
14. Connect more with friends
15. Put myself first
16. Keep a diary? (supposedly this works, but I've never really been into diaries..)
17. Get a pet, any pet.
18. Find a calm, happy place where I can relax once in a while
19. Donate to charity (I already do)
20. Art stuffs (I'm into sculpturing now, and getting back into sketching)
21. Exercise
22. Get a hair cut
23. Get new summer clothes
24. Get a better night sleep
25. Finish school, finally...


More to come. I plan to add more to this list as I go along.